How Leaders Build Trust in Trying Times

Whether you are leading a team, a family, or a company during these very trying times, there is a fantastic opportunity to build trust with those in your circle of influence. Developing trust is not something you would typically consider being a part of a social isolation, quarantine, shelter in place world.

When We Look to Others

Author Dr. Henry Cloud once wrote that “For you to build trust with people, you have to be vulnerable enough for them to identify with you so that you are not so “unlike” them as to be alien. And, you have to be strong enough for them to feel that they can depend on you.” When we look to others and try and decide if we will allow trust to develop, we look for “someone who is strong enough to depend on, but vulnerable enough to identify with.”

Ah, There’s the Rub

You had to go and say, “vulnerability,” didn’t you? And there’s the rub! As leaders, we don’t mind being strong enough, so you know you can depend on us, but when it comes to vulnerable enough to identify with us, that’s another story. If you ask 100 people what the first word is they think of when you say the word vulnerable, the majority, almost all, in fact, will say, “weakness.” This is unfortunate and untrue.

According to researcher and author Brene’ Brown, vulnerability is the most accurate measure of courage, not weakness. When you look at the current situation most people are in around the world as we struggle with a pandemic, you see an incredible opportunity for us to show strength and vulnerability, and that is the opportunity we need to establish trust with our teams.

Strength and Vulnerability in a Pandemic

Strength says, “We have seen crisis before, and we will see them again, what we need to do now is determine what’s possible from where we sit now.”

Vulnerability says, “I don’t know the answer to that, what do you think?”

Strength says, “Let’s take these three actions today, and based on what the results are, we will know how to move forward.”

Vulnerability says, “Can you help me understand the impact this has had on you personally?”

I could go on, but you get the idea. Most leaders will lead from the front, and put on a good front, to let people know they are in charge and in control. However, most people are smart enough to know that many things in our current environment are not in your control. That’s where vulnerability comes in and is the magic ingredient to accompany your strength and cause people to lean in and engage with you. Vulnerability looks a lot like courage when viewed in trying times like these.

Winning My Trust

Having a plan for moving forward while admitting you don’t have all the answers, is that combination of strength enough to depend on, and vulnerable enough to identify with, that develops trust. And that trust will help us go a long way together well after the pandemic has passed. People struggle with identifying with and depending on leaders who don’t seem affected by the situation and have an answer for everything. In uncertain times, followers trust leaders who keep things in perspective, think through the alternatives and actions, and share their thoughts, feelings, and questions with the team.